So it's come to my attention, that some people who I hold very dear are making life very traumatic for a friend of mine. Maybe not directly, but passive aggressively. See this just pisses me off. Firstly, because, like her, I have been through that situation. Secondly, high school ended forever ago and it's sad that their mentality is stuck there.
Let me elaborate: We had a small group in college, but yet within this small group there were smaller divisions. This is natural, as not everyone gets along with each other, some people have more in common and will naturally enjoy each other's company more. Fine. My problem starts with EXCLUSION. Why invite everyone in that group to a party or an event, full well knowing that the excluded person will find out and feel bad? I may sound preachy but I recall full well that in college , me and a girl from that group did not get along. Yet, never once did I not invite her for a party if I invited everyone else, nor did I tell her she couldn't come along with us (if travelling by my car). She may not have extended the same courtesies, but that was fine by me. My conscience was clean.
The problem began with the others in the group. Some just stood by when she was mean. This may seem as if they are not taking sides, but to me it just represents weakness. For instance: Said girl and a guy, let's call him Kingpin, were and are very close friends. Kingpin had issues with me. Not because of my personality, but because I got something he always wanted, and that hurt his ego. So Kingpin and girl actively Excluded me from gatherings. This hurt me. Not because I was dying to go to these things, but because my other friends went for them, told me about them (all the while sounding disgruntled about my exclusion) and did not really stand up for me. But I just sucked it up and three years later, I find these attitudes ridiculous. Maybe it's because I'm far removed from it, or because I always had other friends to rely on, who always backed me up.
Yet while i've left, that group is still intact. Now the problem is Kingpin has decided to make one of my other friends- for convenience I'll call her Crescent, feel Excluded. What annoys me is not his attitude (i've come to expect it) but the attitude of my other friend's around her. I always thought they were mature enough to defend what they felt was right (or maybe they don't feel it's right) and instead they are letting him carry out his Exclusionary tactics. I hope i'm misjudging them, but it seems like everyone is sinking back into their bitchy, high school ways which is a shame. I don't really have a remedy or a solution to the situation but it rankled with me. To me watching and not doing anything, is as bad as advocating an action. It's a quiet way of accepting what I feel is a bad attitude. Anyway that's all I want to say on that. Hopefully, i'm mistaken.